
Beyond Niceness
In our lifetme, we tend to value niceness over almost anything else. We’re taught from a young age to be kind, empathetic, and understanding towards others, and we’re told that these qualities will help us succeed in life. However, recent psychological research suggests that being “good” – that is, being competent, skilled, and effective – is actually more important for our personal and professional growth than being nice.
One key concept in this regard is Carl Jung’s theory of the “shadow self.” According to Jung, we all have a shadow side – parts of ourselves that we repress or deny because they don’t fit with our self-image or social norms. However, this shadow side can be a rich source of energy, creativity, and potential if we integrate it into our conscious self. By acknowledging and accepting our flaws, weaknesses, and negative emotions, we become more whole and authentic human beings.
In a similar vein, recent research in psychology and neuroscience has shown that being good at something – whether it’s a skill, a profession, or a hobby – can be incredibly beneficial for our well-being and happiness. When we engage in activities that challenge us and require us to develop new skills and knowledge, our brain releases dopamine and other feel-good chemicals that make us feel satisfied and fulfilled. Moreover, when we master a skill or accomplish a goal, our brain experiences a sense of achievement and pride that boosts our self-esteem and confidence.
So what does this mean for our daily lives? In short, it means that we should prioritize competence over niceness. Of course, being kind and considerate towards others is important, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of our own growth and development. Rather than always trying to please others or avoid conflict, we should focus on honing our skills and becoming experts in our chosen fields. This might mean working longer hours, seeking out challenging projects, or taking risks that push us out of our comfort zones.
Ultimately, being good at something is not just a matter of personal achievement – it’s also a way to contribute to society and make a meaningful impact on the world. When we develop our skills and knowledge, we can use them to solve problems, create new products, or help others in need. By integrating our shadow self and embracing our weaknesses, we become more compassionate and empathetic towards others, and we can use our strengths to make a positive difference in the world.
While niceness is an important quality to cultivate, being good at something is even more essential for our personal and professional growth. By prioritizing competence over comfort, we can tap into our full potential and become more authentic, whole, and impactful individuals.